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scratch-mind

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to Allah we shall return eternally, to face the real of reality.

Hi? How'd have you been? it has been too long since I last met you here, right?  up to six-seven years I assumed? long story short, six years with ups and downs: battling with some serious issues of mental health, jinxing your lowest self-esteem, barely to breathe, couldn't choose which way leads to wider horizon of promising life [financial and career I supposed?] all these things keep me anxious about future though I know I do not hold it... only He does. and yeah now I'm facing with a serious issue of body health (still a shocking news to me) I'm sure He loves me unconditionally *wipe tears. well it definitely a hard-rock ship coursing my undergrad life. not a smooth sailing told ya. but I'd say I definitely made it, yes I was. obviously with His helps and grace upon me. you can tell my eyes, they're holding pure liquid-crystal-white whenever the storms started to shake my mind; Oct 19th, 2021 // 12 RA 1443H ;(it was The Prophet Muhammad's birthday, peace
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Hidayah Allah.


Hidayah Allah

Nak singkap kenangan lalu?

Tak perlu. Cukup aku dan Allah sahaja yang tahu.
Insan mana yang tak akan diuji? Insan mana? Cuba kau cari. Jumpa?
Tentang hidayah Allah, cukup buat aku hiba. Mengalirkan air mata. Das das peluru jernih tak jemu melontarkan tanpa rasa kasihan. Kasihan pada diri sendiri kerana lupa pada nikmat Illahi.
"Allah, Engkau dekat. Penuh kasih sayang. Takkan Kau biarkan hambaMu menangis. Kerana rahmatMu meliputi segala zat"

Kau berzina, pernah menipu, mencerca, kau hina manusia. Akhirnya kau dapat merasai perasaan "dosa"
Allah itu Maha Berkuasa. Mampu mengubah segala rasa. Hati ini berbolak balik sifatnya. Kenapa masih leka? Kenapa? *Ketuk dahi kat meja* Kau dah banyak lena dengan buaian dunia. Kau dah ghairah dengan nikmat manisan sementara yang sakitnya kekal lama.

Fehh. Ubahlah cara. Didiklah jiwa. Allah ada.
Aku, kau, dia, mereka dan semua ialah pendosa.
Pendosa yang terbaik tak jemu melakukan "taubat" terhadapNya.
Aku lebih layak digelar pendosa.
Biar ditenggelam dunia,
Jangan pula lemas di akhirat yang kekal selamanya.
Siapa nak tolong kita?

Hidayah Allah datang, mesti pegang!
Diberi peluang, kenapa taknak pandang?
Bongkaknya kita manusia. 

Hidayah Allah

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